Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
