Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
True strength comes from lack of pants
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
