Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
