hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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