Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Semen is not good for contacts.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
