He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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