So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
