just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
