dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
