Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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