all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
