Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
