so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
