My sheets look like a crime scene.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm at about main and main street
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
