So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
My vagina is officially offended.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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