I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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