Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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