I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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