i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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