Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
