You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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