R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
