My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
