Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
