Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
