is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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