dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
