shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
