i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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