waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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