you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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