His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
