Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
