margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
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