It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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