i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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