That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
