oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just saw a hot homeless man
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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