Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
