dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
