Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
