his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
