thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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