Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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