my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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