i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
