There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
