Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
