I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
