I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
